I Had No Money!

And so I made my decision to take on this job offer.

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I was sitting in a room that was around 3mx3m in size, facing my interviewer. That said, I could not actually see him due to the one-way mirror in front of me.

“What’s your name?” said in a mechanical voice. He was talking through a voice changer, which was par for the course in this situation.

“Aokura Arihisa,” I answered matter-of-factly, as though to match his tone.

I might have looked calm, but I was actually screaming inside.

I did not expect to get all the way to the interview, after all.

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Job Offer #30182
Company: Antares
Hiring: Stuntman, Mascot
Employment Type: Full/Part-Time
Our Mission: To seize intelligence, might, authority—all kinds of power. Simply put, think of us as the evil organization in your favorite TV show.

Vacancies: 50 persons (subject to change)

“Shady,” that was my honest reaction.

At first glance, it looked like Shocker’s recruitment poster from years back. Everyone knew that it was made as a joke.

But this one, it might be genuine. It was listed on an online recruitment website after all—a genuine job offer that almost looked like a silly prank.

“This is Hello Work, right?”

I triple-checked the site name as shown at the bottom left of the monitor. It was ‘Hello Work’ alright.

“Work hours are from 18:00 until 23:30. Holidays follow the company calendar… huh.”

As a high-school student, working at those hours would make my morning a bit harder. I was not going to complain though. The pay was good. Call it shady, but with this figure?

Salary: ¥138,000~210,000

The minimum amount was probably for the part-timer position. Normally, you would not be able to earn that much just from working part-time.

Really, why was I so fixated about money? You see, I had my circumstances. Both my parents died in an accident when I was still a child.

Just kidding, it was nothing that serious. I was abandoned in front of an orphanage is all. With my umbilical cord still attached, by the way.

There you have it, I was an orphan. Problem was, the orphanage went under when I was in middle school. I did not even have the chance to repay them for raising me.

The reason? Apparently, we were getting less subsidiary aid from the country. A politician mentioned about some budget cut on TV.

The silver lining was that my high school had already been decided since the closure happened when I was close to graduating from middle school. I was lucky that my enrolment fee had already been paid beforehand (including my uniform and such).

Even in middle school, I used up my entire summer breaks working as a pool lifeguard. On top of it, I delivered newspaper every day for the three whole years. However, my meager earnings were not enough to pay my high school tuition fees. That was the whole reason I needed this money.

…Okay, another reason: lodging. I needed to make a down payment, or I would soon be joining the homeless gang. These were the two reasons I was making myself at home in this internet cafe, which was when I found this shady job offer.

“Wait, the age requirement? Okay, nothing specified.”

With that, it was time to apply. As they say, can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. I was going to call the hiring company right away, but…

Hm?

Instead of a phone number, I found…

For aspiring applicants only, please click this link.

Okay…? When did they ever word things like this? Probably never. Things just got even shadier. I still had to do it if I wanted to apply though.

Well, I’ll apologize to the shop employee if this turns out to be a virus.

I resolved myself to click the link, and…

Please answer the questionnaire below.
This is NOT a screening survey whatsoever.

You are confident in your stamina.
Yes No

You believe that God exists.
Yes No

You are interested in rape.
Yes No

…so on and so forth.

I answered all the questions, honest to a fault. It was the wise thing to do, lest it would come back to bite me down the line.

But let me make this clear. I’m not interested in rape at all!

There were fifty questions in total. At the end, there were fields to input my name and gender. The mouse cursor changed into an hourglass when I clicked the submit button. And so, I had a little shut-eye.

I opened my eyes around 5 minutes later. The screen was now displaying venue, date, and time of the interview. There was also a number, most likely my applicant id. But to my surprise…

“Isn’t that 30 minutes from now?!”

I looked at the clock, and indeed, there were only 30 minutes left.

“Not good,” I murmured as I stood up.

Thankfully, the location was not that far from this internet cafe. It was possible to cover the distance in 15 minutes if I sprinted all the way. I had no time to think about my attire, so I started running with what casual clothes I was wearing.

I had no money to buy suits anyway. With only ¥4,835 to my name, it was mission impossible.

“This isn’t the time for that!”

I kept my focus to pace myself, so I would not lose my breath. In the end, I reached the specified building in 10 minutes.

It was an old office building, and it showed. The walls had hairline cracks and ivies growing all over. Incidentally, it had five stories. Using a building that was clearly not maintained for a long time to hold interviews? It was almost like they wanted us to doubt the company’s credibility.

“But I’ve been prepared from the start.”

My living expenses weighed more than my skepticism.

I pushed the glass door and entered the building. No automatic doors? How old is this building? I saw a young lady sitting at the the reception desk, and I made haste towards her.

“Are you here for the interview?” she stood up and asked politely.
“Yes, I am.”
“Your applicant number, please. I need to confirm it on my list.”

I already had the series of digits stored in one corner of my mind, which I memorized with a mnemonic.

“59603.”

The number felt like a jinx. Gokurousan was a phrase that people would use to mollify an unsuccessful applicant. The receptionist made a clickety-clack with the laptop right next to her.

“Allow me to confirm your name. Would it be correct to call you Mr. Aokura Aruhisa?”

Ah, there was nowhere to specify the reading of my name in the questionnaire.

“I’m sorry, it’s Arihisa.”

The lady finished typing in no time.

“Pardon me for the mistake. Walk down these stairs to B1F and take a seat while you wait. Please make sure to enter the inner room when your number is called.”

There were stairs to my right. However…

“Um, I don’t think those stairs were there earlier.”

What I said. The reception desk had been the only thing on the first floor. I wondered what method they used to reach the second floor and beyond, but I did not dwell much on it. Still, stairs appearing out of nowhere? I could not help but ask.

“Passing marks for observation…” she muttered something under her breath, and I could not hear it well.

“Well, you must be imagining it. Perhaps you are tired,” she smiled.

Tired? Yeah… I did run all the way here.

“I see, perhaps so. I had to run since I was running out of time,” I smiled back at her.

“There you have it,” she returned my smile with another smile.

“Sorry for the strange question. I’ll be going on ahead. Thank you for your help.”

I headed towards to the stairs as instructed, but not before expressing my gratitude with a smile. Interviews start the moment you arrive. Never forget about your manners.

Thus, I walked to the basement where the interview would be held.

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The receptionist saw off the juvenile with her perpetual smile, then she shifted her focus back to her laptop.

“Observation: B, Manners: A… a good score considering his age,” said the lady as she inputted her evaluation in a business manner.

The boy was right to raise that question. A 3D projector was used to hide the stairs at first to see whether or not the applicants would notice.

Indeed, the interview began the moment the applicant entered the venue.

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I arrived at B1F and headed towards the closest seat. After all, the ones closer to the inner room were completely filled. I did not expect this crowd. Then again, it made sense due to the favorable working conditions on top of the high salary it offered. It was still shady though.

Heck, everyone except me here is shady!

If you would take a look at the guy sitting next to me…

murmur… murmur…

I could not exactly make out what he said, but he was looking down as he kept muttering.

“Die… scum. I’m gonna kill you…”

I heard nothing, okay? Just my mind playing tricks on me. Either that, or I had a delayed symptoms of chuunibyou.

That must be it… Let that be the case.

For the first time in my life, I had a hard time finding a decent person around me. “Everything is an experience”, someone once said. If that someone was still alive today, I would wring a rope around his neck, drag him here, and ask, “Even this?”

Now if you would look at the ones further inside. Among them, there were three people whose attires made me assume they came from some special army.

Hey, you in the middle, are those grenades that you’re juggling with one hand?

I had to take a seat before I exhausted myself. There was only one spot open. Namely, the edge of the bench situated to my left, or better described as ‘right next to the muttering man.’

Give up, me.

Even if the guy next to me was evidently murmuring strange things, all I had to do was endure. I burned my stamina on the way here, so rest was essential.

Still, It was hard doing nothing while waiting. On the other hand, observing these humans was too high of a hurdle for me.

Oh yeah, I can just close my eyes, can’t I?

A nap sounded good on paper. I shut my eyelids for a few moments, and I reached enlightenment… that I had blundered.

Shutting one of your senses only served to heighten the rest. As you may have guessed, I was inadvertently able to hear everything around me.

“I beseech you, grant me power!”
“Ooh… kill… I wanna kill somebody!”
“I’m not the organization’s pawn. I AM the one using them as a stepping stone. I’ll reach the top and achieve world domination!”

Shit. OH SHIT! Can someone tell me what’s going on?

One answer immediately came to mind.

Am I stuck with these painful-to-look-at chuunibyou patients?

I would steer away from them. I would keep a fair distance mentally, if not physically. With my new resolve, I opened my eyes. Let’s look at the decorations instead.

I sent my glance along the opposite wall, and I found myself staring at a man halfway through. He was sitting diagonally in front of me. His T-shirt bore the print of an anime character, which was stretched so much due to the size of his waist. He was holding a doll in one hand (maybe I should call it a figurine). He was talking to it, even.

Ah, it’s just a normal otaku.

I questioned whether or not the word ‘normal’ should apply to an otaku. Perhaps, the definition of ‘normal’ had changed along the way.

Thus, the interview went underway.

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