Author: Okemura
Illustrator: KASEN
Translator: Aoitenshi


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Hero Union BBS Chapter 4

I’m Not a Hero

  1. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    I would like to start with a question.
    What is the definition of a hero?
  2. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Here I was wondering what kind of hero would proclaim otherwise despite the Union’s approval. Although, could it be that you’re seeking a genuine consultation?
  3. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    My, the definition of a hero?
    That’s a difficult question.
    After all, I was born a miko, destined to save my kingdom.
  4. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    I followed an interesting smell and here I am!
    This is everyone’s idol~☆ The Student!

    By the way, I’m a summoned hero~

  5. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    You want a definition?

    I somehow got recognized as a hero after slaying the demon lord.
    Don’t you think heroes are those who slew demon lords?

  6. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    No, that’s not always the case.
    I couldn’t bear watching my motherland which was infested with corruption.
    So I sought like-minded comrades, rose the banner of rebellion, crushed the old kingdom, and built a new order. That was how I came to be called ‘The Patriotic Hero’ or something like that.
  7. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Here are a few common examples that I can think of off the top of my head:
    – heroes by birth (Miko would belong here),
    – heroes by summoning (Student would belong here),
    – heroes by accomplishments (King and Adventurer would belong here),
    – heroes by order, and so on.
  8. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Heroes by birth are natural-born heroes with a destiny to fulfil.
    Heres by summoning are those summoned from another world to become heroes.
    Heroes by accomplishments are people who obtained the title of a hero after carrying out certain deeds.
    Heroes by order are those bestowed with the responsibilities of a hero by the king, oracle, etc.

    I hope this makes it easier to understand.

  9. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    *whistle*
    That’s the trove of knowledge for you~☆
  10. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    So, how do we define it?
    The ones who will defeat the demon lord?

    But then, there’s King who didn’t face any demon lords.

  11. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    True that~
    I heard that in a certain world,
    two heroes (tentative) would fight each other,
    and the winner would become the true hero!
  12. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Let’s see…
    How about those who will get rid of the source of calamity that is plaguing the world?
  13. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    You might be right.
    Those who are destined to fight the world calamity, including the demon lords.

    Perhaps something like that.

  14. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    There are so many worlds that it’s impossible to observe each and every one of them.
    Because of it, many exceptions exist.
    Although, that will serve as a basic definition at least.
  15. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    I know!

    Those approved by the Union are heroes~☆

    How about that?

  16. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Student…
  17. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Student…
  18. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Student…
  19. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Student…
  20. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    Boo~
    I’m being serious here~
    Even Scholar said that there are many exceptions.
    In other words, it’s useless to define it in any way~☆

    But the Union operates by recognizing certain people as heroes and help them.
    That’s why we can just use that as the definition.

    Right?

  21. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Who are you seeking confirmation from? lol
  22. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    People are free to form opinions, but not like this.
  23. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    The Union isn’t perfect, you know?
    There have been cases of heroes that slipped through the net.
  24. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Speaking of which,
    what happened to the hero in question?
  25. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Now that you mention it…
    Hero, are you there?
  26. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    To conclude!
    No matter how you claim otherwise, the moment you’re in this BBS…

    You.are.already.a.hero~☆

    Hero, a few words please~

  27. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Patissier Sweets Collection.
  28. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    eh?
  29. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    eh?
  30. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    eh?
  31. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    eh?
  32. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    eh?
  33. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Patissier Sweets Collection.
  34. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    ?
  35. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    ?
  36. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    ?
  37. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    ?
  38. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    ?

    Um, is that the name of a sweets fair?

  39. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Although I have no idea who you might be or where you are at the moment,

    could you shout these three words aloud?

  40. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Well…
    I’m currently in my chamber, but…
    There are guards stationed outside the door.
  41. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    What kind of farce is this?
    I’m not going to do that.
  42. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Is that your special move or something?
    …I’ll pass.
  43. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    By the way, I’m just curious.
    What will happen if you shout those words?
  44. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    I will enter a transformation scene.
  45. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Huh?
  46. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Transformation?
  47. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Scene?
  48. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Um,
    is that…
  49. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    !!!
  50. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Student, what’s wrong?
  51. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    srsly?!

    Waha!
    Haha!
    *wheeze* My stomach hurts lol

  52. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    What does it mean?
  53. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    What is a transformation scene
    Scholar, do you know something?
  54. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Um,
    uh…
  55. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    By the way, is there a BGM?
    Sound effects?
  56. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Yes.

    It seems that I’ve confused you guys.
    I will explain about what a transformation scene is.

    First, I enter a mysterious empty space and become completely naked.

  57. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Naked?!
  58. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Completely?!
  59. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    My…
  60. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    Chachalala~♪

    *wheeze*
    *wheeze* lol

  61. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Student just broke.
    Hey, what’s this transformation scene about?
    I need more explanation.
  62. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Even though I’m naked, my skin is covered with a mysterious light.
    That said, all of my curves are still completely visible.
    Well, inside the mysterious space that is.

    After that, mysterious bubbles start to envelop my body.
    Then, they form parts of my clothes one by one as though in queue.

  63. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    I still don’t understand…
  64. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Bubbles?
  65. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    In queue?
    Clothes?
    Form?

    I can’t imagine it at all.

  66. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    To think that they really exist…
  67. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    And finally, frills, ribbons, laces, you name it.
    They pop up everywhere to the extent that I want to scream, “This is outright crazy!” and my attire turns into an imitation of the pattisier uniform but with a miniskirt.

    And to top it off,

    “A chocolate fondue for the maiden’s heart!
    Patissier Macaron!”
    (Add sound effects and a pose.)
    These are all automatic.

  68. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    i’m laughing
    too much
    i’m ded
  69. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    eh?
  70. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    err…
  71. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    um…
  72. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Automatic? Do you mean…
    During all that, um… sequence
    you have no control over your own body?
  73. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    No, I don’t.
    Temporarily.

    The moment I shout
    “Patissier Sweets Collection”
    it’s over.

  74. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    *wheeze*
    *wheeze*

    Excuse me for a bit~☆ミ

  75. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    What can I say…
    You’re quite the unique hero.
  76. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Is this… a hero?
  77. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    There are all kinds of heroes out there…
  78. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Ahem.
    Err…

    However,
    you’re fighting the great evil, aren’t you?

  79. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    The great evil… Well,
    those black and white animals did say something like that.
  80. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Hold on a sec.
    What animals?
  81. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Um,
    if you don’t mind,
    would you please tell us how you became a hero?
  82. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Although there are many things that I’d like to point out,
    I want to hear the answer to Miko’s question for now.
  83. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Ah, yes.

    This nightmare began when I carelessly took a shortcut when I was going home from campus. That was how I ended up walking through the public park.

    Very few people go to that park.
    Although, it was strange how the place was completely empty at that time.
    On top of it, it was really dark even though it was still in the evening.
    While I was thinking about such things…

    They appeared.

  84. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    They? You mean…
  85. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    The black and white animals?
  86. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Yes.

    I should give you their names.
    Black animal: Cacao   White animal: Milk

    They look like the fusion of a stuffed rabbit and a stuffed bear in a chibi form, and they talk with human language.

  87. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    I’ve checked the records.
    They’re fairies from Cream, the Fairy Kingdom.
  88. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    The Fairy Kingdom?!
    It actually exists?
  89. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Well,
    we live in a vast world.
  90. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    As far as I know, fairies aren’t evil beings.
    They can be up for some mischiefs, though.
  91. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Heh!
  92. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    What?
    Did you just laugh through your nose?
  93. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    The moment they took notice of me,
    “This girl has the smell of a patissier, cao!”
    “We found a patissier, ilk!”
    With their most annoying verbal tics, they shoved an egg whisk to me.

    Then they told me to shout the words, “Patissier Sweets Collection”.

  94. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    an
  95. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    egg
  96. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    whisk?
  97. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    It’s decorated with glittery ornaments all over, but the egg whisk is nothing more than an egg whisk.

    After that, something showed up behind the two animals.
    It was an enormous hamburger-like monster, which frightened me and made me shout those words without thinking.

    Patissier Sweets Collection.

  98. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    After that would be the, um…
    Transformation scene?
  99. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    That’s right.
    When I regained control of myself after the final pose,
    I considered biting my own tongue.

    Also, looking at the fluttery clothes that I was made to wear made me consider slitting my own throat.

  100. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Is that how bad it was?
  101. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    So you were forced to do this.
  102. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    It’s nothing that lukewarm.
    I was close to screaming at them for doing whatever they wanted!

    But problem is,
    there was a hamburger monster standing right in front of me.

    That was when,
    “Patissier Macaron! Fight, cao!”
    “Patissier Macaron! Do your best, ilk!”

    Hearing those words, I…
    I considered strangling their necks with my hands.

  103. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Err…
    So,
    um…

    Well,
    so you fought it, right?

  104. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    That I did.
    I fought against a hamburger three times my height with punches and kicks.
    I was surprised because I could move my body far beyond the human limits.

    The hamburger flinched from my attacks,
    and I heard those annoying voi– I mean, cheers.
    “Macaron! Finish it, cao!”
    “Macaron! Do it, ilk!”
    I considered switching targets to the ones behind me.

  105. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Well, how do I put it…
  106. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    That’s new… But at the same time, regrettable…
  107. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    I pity you…
  108. Active Hero: Hero (Phase-Axis Earth)
    However, my body moved against my will. It felt as though I was controlled by the glowing egg whisk…

    “Bad ones shall be given a good coating!”
    (I struck a pose.)
    “Patissier Chocoshower!”
    (One more pose.)

    Then, melted chocolate started pouring out of nowhere… Or rather, from a mysterious wormhole.
    The hamburger was now hardened with chocolate.

    “Dessert!” (And another.)

    Then the chocolate hamburger broke into pieces.
    This process is all automatic.

  109. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Err…
  110. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    What was all that?
  111. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Um…
  112. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    …I checked the records.
    There is a nation called Junk Empire which exists in the same spacetime as Cream Kingdom.
    The fairies from Cream Kingdom came to grant you the power of a hero to rise up against the pawns of Junk Empire that are invading your world.
    …Is perhaps how I would surmise it.
  113. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    I didn’t ask for this!
    I didn’t ask for anything like this!
    There must be a whole lot of candidates who are more suited than me!
    Why did they choose me anyway?!
    Also, does it even make me a hero?!
  114. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Oh my.
  115. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Ah.
  116. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Your name changed.
  117. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    I’m back~
    I know right, it’s kinda hard to call yourself a hero.

    That’s why,

    I’ve changed it to a more fitting name~☆

  118. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Huh?
  119. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Ah…
  120. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Stop it!
  121. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Seriously, stop it!
    I’m already 20!
    I’m a university student! An adult!
    I’m not a girl anymore!
  122. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    Eeh?
    But you’re the prime example of a
    Magical Girl☆
  123. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Noooooooo!
  124. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Indeed.
    Following your descriptions,

    …you are certainly a magical girl.

  125. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    I see.
    So she’s a magical girl.
  126. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Magical Girl?
    What’s so bad about the name?
  127. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Magical Girl…
    Isn’t it a cute name?
  128. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Stop saying it again and againnnnn!
    Don’t push me to the cornerrrrr!

    As if all that wasn’t enough, those black and white animals came barging into my home. I’m living alone, so I don’t need to worry about hiding them from my parents. But on the other hand, it only makes them all the more annoying! They brazenly ask me sweets for lunch every time, and they would drag me out all of a sudden saying, “I can feel the presence of a Junk, cao!” Stop coming out of my bag in the middle of a class or I’ll stomp at you until you turn into mushhhhh!!

  129. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Well, you know…
  130. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Yes.
  131. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    Yup.
  132. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    Good luck~☆
  133. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    Waaaah!

    Oh.

  134. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    What’s wrong?
  135. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    Is everything alright?
  136. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    What is it?
  137. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    Did something happen?
  138. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    Are you okay?
  139. Active Hero: Magical Girl (Phase-Axis Earth)
    “I can feel the presence of a Junk, ilk!”

    …I got to go orz

  140. Watches over heroes: Student (Terran State)
    Bye bye and good luck out there~☆
    Earth peace is in your hands~☆
  141. Watches over heroes: King (Alethea)
    What can I say… Well, godspeed.
  142. Watches over heroes: Miko (Holy Kingdom of Feil)
    I wish you luck… Take care.
  143. Watches over heroes: Adventurer (Deira)
    …Hey, Scholar.
    Does being a magical girl make you a hero?
  144. Watches over heroes: Scholar (Space-Time Library)
    …I don’t know.

 

 


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